


this is the thing

by hopelessrdj



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Donna is alive, Living Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 06:13:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19847269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelessrdj/pseuds/hopelessrdj
Summary: Tony and Stephen have been living together ever since they met during their first year. When Donna becomes ill and ends up in the hospital Stephen does whatever he can to spend every minute of his time with her. Tony can't handle the loneliness and emptiness of their home





	this is the thing

_I don't know if you notice anything different._  
It's getting dark and it's getting cold and the nights are getting long  
And I don't know if you even notice at all  
That I'm long gone 

It’s after midnight, when Tony leaves their apartment closing the door behind him. It’s not like he’s trying to do it quietly either. He doesn’t really have to. There’s no one who could be woken up by the sound.

That’s how their life looked nowadays. Together, yet apart. With an empty house and silence surrounding it. Tony doesn’t even know if he’d recognise his boyfriend if he saw him now. Even though they officially still lived together they haven’t seen each other in over a month

He zips up his leather jacket that barely gave him any warm and tightly wraps his arms around his body. For a moment he wondered why he decided on wearing this instead of the autumn coat he had packed in the bag hanging on his shoulder now.

He didn’t have much to take with him. Most of his things were already moved to the apartment he bought somewhere around a week ago. He didn’t move out all at once. He’s been slowly moving out piece by piece for days now.

But today he decided he’s had enough. He packed the rest of his things into a small gym bag he found lying around and left without saying goodbye. It’s not like there was anyone he could say one to.

Walking down the street and looking at the starry sky, slowly getting used to the colder and longer autumn nights he wondered how long is it gonna take Stephen to notice anything different.

How many days will pass before he notices Tony is gone.

Before he notices their relationship is gone.

_And the things that keep us apart_  
Keep me alive  
And the things that keep me alive  
Keep me alone 

Tony promised himself he won’t get attached again. That after the decision he made and thought through dozens of times he’s ready and he won’t regret and go back to the memories. Neither the good nor the bad ones.

And that’s why he hated himself for not being able to. He hated himself for placing their holiday picture on the nightstand facing the bed. He knew he was making a mistake by putting it on display where it would haunt him, but he also knew he needed it.

He needed to look at it so it would remind him why he left, why they had to separate. Why living together no longer made sense.

And it’s not that Tony didn’t love Stephen. He loved his boyfriend with every ounce of him and he knew he always will. And it’s not that Stephen didn’t love Tony either. It’s just that Strange was a busy man, building a name for himself and a lot of problems on top of that and Tony… Tony just didn’t wanted to be a burden.

He knew, despite Stephen denying it for years, how important family was for him. So when Donna got ill and he started spending all his days in the hospital Tony didn’t wanted to make him come back home and spend time with him.

But he couldn’t also stand the silence of their home that used to always be so full of life. And he couldn’t fight the irrational feeling of being neglected.

And he knew he will wait for him. He’d wait for eternity if he had to. He just couldn’t do it there. Not in that house full of sadness, dreams, empty promises and fighting about the lack of time spend together

In this moment he knew staying apart would be best for both of them. That this is the only thing that would allow Stephen to be fully present in the only place he wanted to be in now. A silent sterile hospital, by the metal bed that held a weak ill girl.

And he knew his decision was good.

He could handle a bit of loneliness. Couldn’t he?

 _I don't know if you notice anything missing_  
Like the leaves on the trees or my clothes all over the floor  
And I don't know if you even notice at all  
'Cause I was real quiet when I closed the door

Two days passed before Tony realised he didn’t think this through as well as he wanted to believe he did.

Because now, when he was finally able to look at it all without the mix of emotions surrounding him he finally calmly looked around and realised he forgot one pretty important thing from their shared apartment. The master's thesis he’s been working on for over half a year now.

With a deep exhale he stood up and started looking for the keys to their shared appartment, the ones thateven though he planned to, he never left behind. He just somehow couldn’t do it because it’ll both literally and lyrically close the doors between him and Stephen.

It was past 10 pm when Tony arrived on the doorstep, fumbling a little with the keys. For a while he considered knocking but decided against it. Stephen didn’t spend a single night at home for the last month, so why would he now.

So he put the key in the lock and turned it slowly, trying to remind himself where he saw his thesis last. He firstly checked the living room, then the kitchen and in the end the bedroom where he stood frozen not knowing how to react

Because right there in the middle of their bed lied Stephen Vincent Strange.

He looked around the room and realised it looked exactly how he left it. As if Stephen was only a guest in his own house and didn’t bother to touch anything in there.

Truth be told, he never really had to. Tony usually had more free time so it didn’t really bother him much that he was the one to do most house chores. So when he came closer to the night stand to retrieve his thesis from it and saw dust on it he wasn’t really that surprised.

Out of curiosity he went to the kitchen and opened the fridge and just like he expected everything was exactly how he left it. As if Stephen still expected him to clean and do his groceries. As if he didn’t notice his absence at all.

And now, now when Tony was not around Stephen decided to spend the night at home. And for the first time Tony thought that maybe, just maybe, he was the problem.

And he wondered if Stephen doesn’t notice anything anymore, only concentrating on Donna. If he doesn’t notice falling autumn leaves, or passing days. Because despite everything time doesn’t stop for anyone.

And then he wonders if he noticed anything missing. Does he even acknowledge the lack of Tony’s clothes on the floor, that Stephen kept tripping over? Does he notice that his toothbrush is no longer in the bathroom and his jacket is not hanging over Stephen’s coat anymore?

He also wonders if he’ll notice something new appearing. Like the second key left on the living room’s table with a short handwritten note.

And he didn’t know if Stephen will notice anything at all. Cause this time he was really quiet when he closed the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Fink - This Is The Thing is the reason for all that


End file.
